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19 April 1995

Today I woke up thing that I would have a day off from school (which I did) and that I would be able to get some school work done. Also, some other things done around the house; some honey doos. And like two peas in a pod, Annalisa, my wife, called me asking to get some things done around the house.  In that instance of clairvoyance, I began to laugh internally. Today is also the day, 25 years ago that I joined the United State Air Force.  This is a proud moment for me and usually a day of reflection and memories.  As my alarm went off I creeped out of bed, still half asleep I made my way into the kitchen and made some coffee.  headed toward the living room, I turned on the TV. On, was the memorial for the Oklahoma City bombing.  Unfortunately, 24 years ago, two men destroyed the Oklahoma City Federal Building.  As I watched, I thought to myself that I would never be living in the Oklahoma City area.  I became extremely emotional party because of the meds that I'm on for my PTSD. It was at the moment on TV when the MC announced the raising of the colors (by the OKC first responders).  As the flags went up, my eyes began to well with tears, my throat began to tighten, and my face began to constrict trying to hold my emotions in.  At that moment I thought that the American flag is not just a national symbol but a city and state symbol as well.  Even though the news of the bombing made national news and living elsewhere at the time; I wasn't deeply affected by it until now.

I have only lived in the OKC area for a short while I have taken to embrace it.   My wife and I ( as much as we have moved) have always tried to make our home where ever we are.  For us, this means being involved in our neighborhood, making new friends, and immersing ourselves in the culture and (in this case) the city life.  I guess you could say that we have adopted the mantra of, "Home is where the Heart is"(or where the military sends you)

Minutes later in the program,  168 seconds of silence was announced by the narrator.  This I can only assume was to specifically honor 168 people killed in the bombing. After the moment, one after the other government representatives took turns speaking, each with heartfelt words of that tragic day.

I kept reflecting on the American flag and the symbolism that we take from it.  Simultaneously, I was thinking about how our flag has "stood the test of time." How the reflection of the American flag has bought us together in times of turmoil.  How it evokes a sense of pride and that we take it for granted. What prevents us from keeping this feeling in our hearts every day?  Why does tragedy only bring us together? Sure, there are days of celebration that instill a sense of pride but why not keep that emotion with us all the time.  The idea of being American is a foregone conclusion.  Don't get me wrong,  I'm not saying that we have to go around and shout it from the rooftops that we are American but rather keep that feeling in us to see and reflect on how we can be united in our daily lives.  It's the idea that we each keep a moral, spiritual, emotional, and understanding of each other.  A cohesiveness that allows us to see different viewpoints to guide us through certain times as needed.  Times needed in both good and bad.  The American flag is supposed to keep us indivisible.  Let's try to think of that when we can.        

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